Jul. 28th, 2012

moonbeamsfanfic: (Snape - This Is My Happy Face)
..., because then maybe fandom would stop making me feel like I'm a broken freak who needs to be "fixed" to find true happiness.

I would like it if (just once even!) I could a find an angsty fic that doesn't pull a complete turn-around into a so-called "happy ending" by essentially saying: 'Oh, hey? That thing that was making you miserable? All your own fault! Just admit I'm right and you're wrong, and presto! All fixed! Now we can be together forever!' Tadda, instant happy ending!

Because I don't buy it. Relationships don't just magically fix everything. And, hey, guess what? That's okay! People have flaws, they have fears, they have angers... it's part of life. It doesn't mean they're "broken" and need fixing to be happy. They can, wonder of wonders, learn to be happy with themselves flaws and all, you know. Love doesn't always conquer all.

But the message all these fics are sending is that no, really, I'm wrong. If I just change who I am, I can find love and then suddenly everything in my life will be so much better, yay! And that makes me feel horrible and alienated after reading these fics because, sorry, I don't buy their happily ever after endings. Because I want the characters to hold out for once, to not compromise themselves to make the 'happy ending' possible. Because I am not only not satisfied by the relationship working out, I am actually upset by it. Because it's not goddamn FAIR to the character, okay? It's just not. And it's not fair to me either.

Why can't these characters be allowed to be themselves and not have to change to suit someone else instead? Why aren't they allowed to hold on to their so-called "hangups" and have the other person adapt to live with them? To accept them as they are?

Why do they, do I, have to be "fixed" to find happiness?

Answer: We don't. I'm just fine the way I am, and so are most of them. That's why we love those characters in first place, isn't it? So, please, just someone... leave them be. Let them live however they want, let them find happiness in themselves for once.

Even if that means being alone.

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